Sometimes I wish you can really turn off your humanity. I wish you could stop feeling hurt. I wish there was a way grief only lasts for a finite amount of time. I wish there’s someone to blame.
I wish we didn’t always rely on “next time.” I wish “that’s just life” isn’t a go-to justification for why someone is just gone. And I wish “i’m sorry for your loss” doesn’t feel so empty
I wish there was a guarantee that life spans are a minimum 100 years and any time after that is a bonus. I wish there weren’t such things as illness, pain and sudden deaths.
But i’m not naive.
I know we are all living on borrowed time.
It always sucks when you didn’t prepare for it. It always seems like it’s so unfair and you wish there was a good reason for why they’re taken so soon. The ones that hurt the most are the ones you didn’t say goodbye to. I wish there was a way we could plead for more time. I wish we didn’t have so much damn regrets and pride. I wish we would all realize that there are more important things in life than consumerism. I wish we would all appreciate each other more. I wish it was never too late.
Mostly, I wish everyone is fortunate enough to love and be loved.
Today I sat on a bench in a house of God and while I didn’t prescribe to this certain higher power, I believed in the power of love. Warm salted tears streamed down as I heard my coworker read out loud his letter to his dad. I think you’re lucky if you fill the church with people who love you. I think you’re lucky if you were able to find someone to share your life with and intended to grow old with that person. I think you’re lucky if you have children who care and admire you. And he had all that and much more.
As much as I hate it, I know loss is necessary. If nothing else, it makes you more appreciative of things and people. It makes you let go of things easier. And hopefully, it makes you want to live in honour of those who can’t anymore.