Just Me.

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It’s halfway through #summer. Just need a #boat, a cooler and even cooler company… That can #row properly.
#Weekday #lake day ๐Ÿ™Œ 

#westcoast #bc #mountains #city #escape #beach #sausageorlegs #lifecanbethissimple

It’s halfway through #summer. Just need a #boat, a cooler and even cooler company… That can #row properly.
#Weekday #lake day ๐Ÿ™Œ

#westcoast #bc #mountains #city #escape #beach #sausageorlegs #lifecanbethissimple

THIS. 

THIS.ย 

(Source: eemilysdrug)

This is 26.

It’s the middle of July and I’m feeling “stuck.” I don’t even know if there’s a proper word to describe how I’m feeling, but “stuck” comes pretty damn close.ย 

I tell my mother I may not be in my job forever. I have also told my mother months ago I had a suitor that I just wasn’t feeling it with. On both accounts, I’ve realized how big of a difference our generation’s perspectives are.ย 
She tells me I am lucky to have a good government job with benefits that I can live comfortably until retirement - and long after that. She tells me i’m lucky because she has worked her whole life in labour intensive jobs with little to really live. She tells me I should choose someone who loves me more. She tells me that you survive better in life on bread, not love.ย 

But I’m not ungrateful for my job. If you had told me when I was 18 I would get to work at my dream place I would have squealed in excitement because I have worked hard to get to where I am. But now that i’m here … I want more. Is it a millennial curse? Am I not capable of being content with what I have - covering the basic necessities of survival and making enough spending money to support my lifestyle? There’s no war waging in my country, I live in relative luxury compared to the majority of the world’s population and I have everything I possibly need. And as for relationships? Well, let’s just say that I’ll always choose to align myself with those that make me want to be better, who I could go on adventures with and someone who not only gets me but i’m comfortable in my own skin with. And while bread may fill you up, love can feed you long after the hunger pains stopped.

…. so why do I still feel like I need to reach the next level of this game of life but i’m constantly falling short on taking a leap - a risk - to get to it?ย 

I tell my friends I just need inspiration. I tell myself I need to figure out what I don’t want to do in order to find out what I do want to do. But at 26, I feel like i’m lagging behind. I’m haunted by the question asked when we were young about “what we wanted to be when we grew up” because can I still feign ignorance of not knowing if I don’t consider myself a grown up yet?

I don’t have to have it all figured out right now. I know. I want to enjoy my recently acquired RFT status. Go on vacation(s).ย Enjoy life.ย 

… after all, being stuck doesn’t mean I can’t slowly wiggle my way out to solid ground.ย 

Because with this girl I can always be myself

Beautiful Sunday morning…
For super great friends like me that drag the other out for 8am kayak rides ๐Ÿ™Œ  (at Deep Cove Canoe and Kayak Centre)

Beautiful Sunday morning…
For super great friends like me that drag the other out for 8am kayak rides ๐Ÿ™Œ (at Deep Cove Canoe and Kayak Centre)

Happiest birthday to “my person”. From being each others stool to steal food, play fighting and our shared love of pop culture. ” Remember, “this is your PRIME TIME!” ๐Ÿ™Œ๐ŸŽ‚

Happiest birthday to “my person”. From being each others stool to steal food, play fighting and our shared love of pop culture. ” Remember, “this is your PRIME TIME!” ๐Ÿ™Œ๐ŸŽ‚

Jul 9

2014.07.08

@belcarraregionalpark

After hours. Empty lake. Clear skies lit up with stars. Interrupted by bunch of teenage girls followed by your โ€œwe have about 30 seconds to get in the waterโ€. With you, I never hesitate. With you, we do everything reckless together. We jump in. Park ranger busts us. Drive down to residential area. 2 trespasses in we find a patio and just stayed there like it was our own. With you, it is always an adventure. With you, I am reminded why it is always hard to walk away.

#partnersincrime

If all goes well ... I’m coming :)

If all goes well ... I’m coming :)

Excuse Me While I …

Re-freeze my once cold heart that you half melted

Re-fortify my walls and patch up the holes you one tried to break through from

Forget about you long enough to forget why I needed to

Adjust to my new phantom organ and pretend my feelings don’t still exist despite how real it all still feels

Wish you nothing but the best

Look forward to what the future has in store for me and not volunteering to stand still, waiting.ย 

Fiction, Meet Life.

2014.06.18

Have you ever watched a show or movie, become invested in the characters and their fates, and then when it airs its finale or when it gets prematurely cancelled, you’re completely unsatisfied?

Maybe it was because it did not answer all the questions it raised. Maybe a certain character didn’t end up with the guy/girl of their dreams/get their happy ending. Maybe a damn case didn’t get solved? Or worst of all, maybe it had a vague ending and you’re left staring at the screen willing another a minute to magically appear because you want your “what the hells” to make sense.ย 

So you go on forums. You read reviews from blogs and websites. You research on the post-mortems from the directors, writers and cast. You discuss with fellow watchers. You question. You complain. You want to know more. You want to know why.

But sometimes, actually most of the time, you’re just left unsatisfied. You never get the answer you want. You never accept the reality presented to you. You constantly hope for a movie to re-write the ending or at the very least, the special features disc to have an alternate ending. You want the one responsible for making it real to tell you why it ended the way it did.ย In an ideal world, we get our why’s. But in the real world, closures sometimes just does not happen.ย 

The older I get the less patience I have for things that don’t make sense. So when I start a show that initially had a lot of promise but quickly proved itself to be “not my type,” I stop watching. When a show abruptly ends or takes way too long to come back after a break, I’ll start to lose interest. When a show does end and i’m scratching my head as to the ending, i’ve learned to just say, “well, that’s bullshit” and find another show to watch.ย 

After all, there are always new shows. Other shows. And eventually i’ll find one worth watching over and over again.ย